Don't know what's worse. Dealing with this type of crazy from the onset or having it creep up on you years later. My husband and I have been married for almost thirty years and as a third wife, I know of what you speak. His three kids were a mess but, the saving grace was that they all loved me. We managed to fumble and bumble our way through it all with lots of bumps along the way. But my husband was worth it. I wish you luck.